poem thirty: goodbye poem

This is two days late being posted, because on the last day of April I was extremely busy, and yesterday I was as well. But this is the end … until 2015! And the last NaPoWriMo prompt was to write a goodbye poem.

*

it seemed hard to draw a line under
the way your eyes used to sparkle
the way I noticed they’d gone flat

though deep down I knew why and split
through the middle of myself. the old
helplessness made its nest in my chest.

it was hard to say goodbye to promises
of more – more love, more affection, in the end
more than you could give; in the end, I

realised, more than I could stand.
but it was still hard, though not the way
it looks from the inside out. we were held

together by cobwebs, every strand still
connected to an old scar, tugging at our
skin. and little more than smoke won’t hold

between those who understand the need
to be self-contained, who see the world upside down
and don’t know how to let themselves be loved.